Living Beside the Leaving
When someone you love is still here, but everything has already started to change.
A memoir for caregivers and adult children grieving before goodbye.
The repeated questions.
The role reversal.
The guilt, exhaustion, love, and relief.
The life after caregiving.
Inside the book
Living Beside the Leaving begins with my mother before Alzheimer’s became the center of the story.
It follows the slow changes that altered our family life, the decisions that came with her decline, and the responsibility of caring for someone who was still here but no longer the same.
The book moves through diagnosis, driving, memory care, family tension, anger, guilt, exhaustion, moments of connection, her final days, and the strange quiet that followed.
It is not a guidebook.
It is a lived account of what caregiving can ask of you, what grief can look like before death, and what can remain after the role ends.
“I was already practicing goodbye.”
About Caroline Shelby
I am a grief educator, coach, and the founder of Grief Clarity Labs.
Before this work, I spent more than a decade caring for my mother as Alzheimer’s progressed.
At the time, I did not have language for much of what I was living through.
I knew I was tired.
I knew I was scared.
I knew I loved her.
I did not always know grief had already begun.
This book came from what I could not name while I was in it, and what I began to understand after caregiving ended.
If this story feels close to your own, Grief Clarity Labs offers support beyond the book.
Support circles offer a place to be with others who understand.
One-on-one coaching offers private support to talk through what this specifically looks like in your life.
Speaking and workshops are available for organizations and groups who want a clearer way to talk about grief and caregiving.